Marriage and Love

Marriage is against nature.
You can be certain only of this moment that is in your hands.
All promises for tomorrow are lies–and marriage is a promise for your whole life, that you will remain together, that you will love each other, that you will respect each other till your last breath.
And these priests, who are the inventors of many ugly things, say to you that marriages are made in heaven. Nothing is made in heaven; there is no heaven.
Lovers don’t deceive each other, they are saying the truth–but that truth belongs to the moment.

If I love a woman, and one day she says that she has fallen in love with somebody else and feels very happy, I will be happy. I love her, and I would like her to be happy–where is the problem? I will help her in every way so that she can be more happy. If she can be more happy with somebody else, what hurts me?

It is your ego that hurts: She has found somebody else who is better than you. It is not a question of better, it may be just your chauffeur–it is just a question of a little change. And if you give full freedom to each other, perhaps you can remain together for your whole life, or for the whole eternity, because there is no need to get rid of each other

And whoever you are with, let the other person understand clearly that “It is freedom between us, not a marriage license. Out of freedom we meet, with no promises for the future–because who knows the future?”

Love is not slavery, it is freedom.

To fit with somebody, it is a great art. To create a harmony between two persons… Two persons mean two different worlds. When two worlds come close, clash is bound to be there if you don’t know how to harmonize. Love is harmony. And happiness, health, harmony, all happen out of love. Learn to love. Don’t be in a hurry for marriage, learn to love. First become a great lover.

The first lesson of love is not to ask for love, but just to give. Become a giver. And people are doing just the opposite. Even when they give, they give only with the idea that love should come back. It is a bargain. You simply pour, it will come. And if it is not coming, nothing to be worried about–because a lover knows that to love is to be happy.

Love has its own intrinsic happiness. It happens when you love. There is no need to wait for the result. Just start loving. By and by you will see much more love is coming back to you. One loves and comes to know what love is, only by loving. As one learns swimming by swimming, by loving one loves.

Don’t miss any opportunity of love. Even passing in a street you can be loving. Even to the beggar you can be loving. There is no need that you have to give him something; you can smile at least. It costs nothing–but your very smile opens your heart, makes your heart more alive. Hold somebody’s hand–a friend or a stranger. Don’t think that you will only love when the right person happens. Then the right person will never happen. Go on loving. The more you love, the more is the possibility for the right persons to happen, because your heart starts flowering. And a flowering heart attracts many bees, many lovers.

Become a flower, don’t remain a seed.

Society should create all barriers possible for marriage and no barrier for divorce. Society should not allow people to marry so easily. The court should create barriers–live with the woman for two years at least, then the court can allow you to get married. Right now they are doing just the reverse. If you want to get married, nobody asks whether you are ready or whether it is just a whim, just because you like the nose of the woman. What foolishness!

My suggestion is that marriage should happen after the honeymoon, never before it. Only if everything goes right, only then marriage should happen.

I am not saying that love is destroyed by marriage. Love is destroyed by people who don’t know how to love. Love is destroyed because in the first place love is not. You have been living in a dream. Reality destroys that dream. Otherwise love is something eternal, part of eternity. If you grow, if you know the art, and you accept the realities of love-life, then it goes on growing every day. Marriage becomes a tremendous opportunity to grow into love.

Nothing can destroy love. If it is there, it goes on growing.
Love is not a passion, love is not an emotion. Love is a very deep understanding that somebody somehow completes you. Somebody makes you a full circle. The presence of the other enhances your presence. Love gives freedom to be yourself; it is not possessiveness.

Love gives freedom to be yourself; it is not possessiveness. So, watch Never think of sex as love, otherwise you will be deceived. Be alert, and when you start feeling with someone that just the presence, the pure presence–nothing else, nothing else is needed; you don’t ask anything–just the presence, just that the other is, is enough to make you happy… Something starts flowering within you, a thousand and one lotuses bloom.. Then you are in love, and then you can pass through all the difficulties that reality creates. Many anguishes, many anxieties–you will be able to pass all of them, and your love will be flowering more and more, because all those situations will become challenges. And your love, by overcoming them, will become more and more strong.

Love is eternity. If it is there, then it goes on growing and growing. Love knows the beginning but does not know the end.

This entry was posted in Blue Hand.

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